Eating and mealtimes

It's natural for parents to worry about whether their child is getting enough food, especially if they refuse to eat sometimes. NHS Choices advises not to worry about what your child eats in a day, or if they don't eat everything in a meal.

It's more important to think about what they eat over a week.

As long as your child is active and gaining weight, and it's obvious they're not ill, then they’re getting enough to eat, even if it may not seem like it to you.

It’s perfectly normal for toddlers to refuse to eat or even taste new foods. As long as your child eats some food from the four main food groups (milk and dairy products, starchy foods, fruit and vegetables, protein), even if it’s always the same favourites, you don't need to worry. Gradually introduce other foods or go back to the foods your child didn’t like before and try them again.

If every meal seems like a battleground - food refusal, thrown food, fussy eating habits - try to keep calm and consider the following:

• A healthy child will never willingly starve themselves if they have access to a variety of wholesome food.

• Keep a chart for a week and write down everything your toddler eats if you're really worried. You'll probably be surprised by how much they manage to get through.
• Giving a vitamin supplement may be useful if your child is a very poor eater.
• You have nothing to worry about if they are consistently growing despite a small appetite. Keep an eye on their height and weight gains to help monitor this.
• Don't cater to their every whim. You will promote fussy eating if you keep offering different food choices until they accept one. If you want to give a choice of food, keep the choice to two.
• Keep snacking to a minimum so they’re hungry at mealtimes and will be more willing to eat.
• Try to eat with your toddler - even if it's a snack. They’ll be more willing to sit down and eat if they have company and will come to understand that eating can be a social activity.
• Have meals and snacks at predictable times and eat and drink at the table.
• Offer water to drink between meals.
• Make mealtimes a non-stressful experience for a child. Stress decreases appetite and children will avoid mealtimes if they perceive it as a stressful time.
• Don’t use dessert as reward. This reinforces the idea of having to eat “bad food” to get “good food”.
• It’s okay to leave food.
• Include preferred foods at every meal.
• Get your child involved in meal planning and preparation as is developmentally appropriate. Include them in: shopping, choosing foods, preparing and cooking foods, setting the table, serving food etc.
• Let your child choose the plates and cups they use at meal times.  This will help make mealtimes more interesting and takes the focus away from the food.
• Don’t wipe their hands or face or the table until the end of the meal. Some children need the opportunity to stir and mix food and smear it on the highchair tray as a preparation for taking a spoonful. Small amounts of food play at mealtimes are very appropriate for young children.

If you have a very resistant eater at your table, redefine “success”. Children are taking risks and showing progress when they do any of the following with new foods: smell, touch, poke with a fork, touch to lips, touch to chin, or lick.

Even tolerating a new food in the same room or on the table is success. All of these activities are worthy of big praise. It is important to recognise these as signs of success, even though they have not actually taken a bite.

We have selected some websites that we think would be useful for further information. Please click on the links below:

Change4Life

BDA Food Facts for Healthy Eating Advice

NHS Choices Fussy Eaters